Kindness: Key to a Happy Employee
October is National Disability Employment Awareness Month! For more on this important topic, today’s blog post comes to us from Author Accelerator certified book coach Sandra Postma.
Sandra Postma
Certified Book Coach
I was 24 and starting my career in journalism. I’d had health issues since I was 14 and another chronic illness had reared its ugly head during my time at university. But I was adamant to become successful as a journalist and this internship was going to get me the required resumé experience.
With trepidation but hope I went into what felt like my first real journalism job at a regional newspaper. Four months later I left it devastated and traumatized.
After a period of doing the best work I was capable of despite increasing health issues but no hint whatsoever of any critique on my work, my employer came to me on my final day with words I can still vividly recall: “We cannot let you pass your internship, because you didn’t do as much work as other interns.”
I sat there stunned.
I had received praise for my long spreads and short news reports from many different people. I knew I was skilled as a writer and a journalist. Yet there I sat. Those skills having no importance whatsoever. Only my inability to work fulltime did, even though I had extended my initially three month-internship with one month on my own initiative to make up all missed hours.
It didn’t matter. The paper failed me anyway. I hadn’t done as much work as other interns had in the past so I didn’t deserve to pass. Only my illness mattered to them in the end. They had no support or empathy for me.
To say I was angry and disappointed is an understatement, but most of all I felt defeated on a deep human level. Because in that last conversation I was made to feel like a complete failure. I was made to feel that I didn’t belong in journalism. It left me deeply traumatized and I never went back to journalism.
Because one employer judged me not on the basis of what I could do, but on the basis of what I couldn’t. After many previous experiences where my illness was more important than who I was as a person, I fully internalized that into a firm belief about myself: I could never be a journalist because I had an illness and the illness was all anyone saw. In time I took it even further: I was a bad person and useless to anyone because of my illness.
In the years that followed I had varying experiences with other employees, but in hindsight they were all in some way sympathetic to my situation and deep wish to keep working. Unfortunately not one of my jobs worked out long-term. My decreasing health got in the way at every new job and my own negative beliefs about myself deepened.
However there was an important difference between these work experiences and my internship: kindness. These later employers and colleagues at least showed me an inch of kindness. The amount of it varied, but I was valued for what I could do instead of what I couldn’t. It seems so obvious, but I know from experience that it truly isn’t. Unfortunately my self-loathing had gone so deep at this point I could only see what I couldn’t do either.
So there I was, a 28-year-old woman with two university degrees, but zero job prospects because of my chronic illnesses.
To say this was difficult to come to terms with is an understatement. I was facing a depression and daily panic attacks. It is deeply affecting when you don’t fit in, let alone having to deal with all the stigmas on a daily basis that come with being jobless and sick. From others and yourself.
This period lasted for almost 6 years. Six long years. I went through the grieving process of letting go of my dream to have a career as a journalist, or a career of any kind.
Fast forward to August 2021. I was down in the dumps and on my way to Depression Station once more as the lack of a purpose in my life was weighing heavier and heavier on me. As I’ve done before in my life, I turned to Dr. Google, hoping its algorithm would come up with a solution to my existential crisis.
Surprisingly, for once it did.
I knew I loved writing. I had extensive training in writing and storytelling with my degrees in journalism and English literature and the courses and non-fiction and fiction writing I had done in the following years. Plus I love sharing what I know with others.
So I Googled: creative writing coach. I had to start somewhere after all.
Even if just for a spark of hope that maybe one day things could be different for me.
Life can be so interesting, can’t it?
Right now you are reading this on the exact website my search engine directed me to at the top of its results page: bookcoaches.com.
I was instantly intrigued. What on earth was a book coach? To find my answer I watched Jennie Nash’s videos - as CEO of Author Accelerator and Original Book Coach - on book coaching.
And there it was, that so coveted surge of hope that maybe I could have a job. Maybe even a career? A job where I could help writers write, where I could share my love and knowledge of storytelling, where I could motivate people to find their voice, and do so from the comforts of my home whenever my health would allow for it. Wow!
Hope for a better future is a powerful motivator. This month I celebrate the first anniversary of my own business, Your Story Mentor. In my business I help people write fantasy and sci-fi stories, with a specific passion for helping other people with chronic illnesses like me.
Has the past year been easy? Heck no! It’s been fun, exhilarating and empowering, yes, but also stressful, heartbreaking and hard work. But ultimately I get to use my skills, my values and the energy I do have to help people find their voice, no matter their circumstances. And I’d never have gotten here without the trials and tribulations I had to endure in the past. I find such hope in that fact, especially during the difficult days. I will always overcome.
Oh and if you were wondering how I dealt with my failed internship: thankfully my university teachers did embrace my situation and gave me a higher grade for my internship because the work that I had done was excellent in their view. They even praised my determination to work there longer to make up for missed hours. They knew my skillset and they valued it, seeing my illness not as a moral failure like my boss at my internship, but as a circumstance they felt I dealt with admirably.
I wish employers of anyone with an illness, whether physical or mental, had a similar view.
I wish employers looked at what their people can do and valuing that first and foremost instead of focusing on where they lack.
I’m happy to say that each and every single coach I’ve encountered at Author Accelerator has been nothing but encouraging and supportive towards me in this new journey of mine. Whether it is the innate curiosity of the keen readers and helpers that we are as book coaches, everyone’s kindness and support continues to blow me away and has restored my confidence in myself in a way I can never repay.
It made me see that we all deserve to be surrounded by people who are willing to listen to us and to find out more about how to accommodate each of us so we can do the best job we can within our personal abilities. Because a happy and supported employee is an asset to every company.
But most importantly I hope that you know that you deserve respect and support from your work environment too, no matter where that takes place.
We are each of us different human beings with each of us our own individual life stories. To get us through the hard times all we need is simply a little more kindness in every aspect of our lives.
Sandra Postma is an Author Accelerator certified book coach for sci-fi and fantasy writers. She founded her company Your Story Mentor in 2021 and recently founded the Spoonie Writer Academy as a community for people with a chronic or mental illness or disability to write, grow and thrive in a safe, supportive environment. You can find her under @yourstorymentor on social media. For more info on her work as a book coach visit her website yourstorymentor.com.
