Book Coaches Answer Your Questions About Writing Romance
Happy belated Valentine’s Day! In honor of this lover’s holiday, we asked three Author Accelerator certified fiction book coaches to answer romance writer’s questions about the genre. Big thanks to Rona Gofstein and Heather Campbell for sharing their tips here. Book coach Samantha Skal also shared her answers in a recent Instagram takeover. Click here to watch the highlights!
Is there a recipe for writing romantic scenes without making things too cheesy or cringy? I feel like every romance scene I write feels like bad fan fiction.
RONA GOFSTEIN: Sadly, there’s no “recipe” in the way you might hope (a cup of kissing, three tablespoons of snuggling…). My suggestion is to remember these scenes are not only about the romantic emotions but the feelings of vulnerability that are coming up for your characters. Where are they when it comes to trust? What does it mean to them to let another person close physically and emotionally? The more you can reveal these thoughts in addition to showing what’s happening, the less “cringy” I think the scene will feel and the more the reader will be able to connect with your characters.
HEATHER CAMPBELL: Romance in a scene comes from intimacy as much, if not more than, physicality. Take time to get into your POV character’s head. Explore what they’re thinking and feeling about the other person and this romantic interaction. It’s likely a mix of excitement, nerves, vulnerability, curiosity, and more. From a technical standpoint, you can bring this out on the page through the narration and internal monologue, as well as their actions and dialogue. The more you show emotion in the characters’ interaction, the more original and authentic you can make a romantic scene feel.
How can you build romantic tension between characters throughout a story?
RONA: While there are lots of ways to do this, I think one of the best is by knowing what holds your characters back from love and showing them struggling with this. What’s kept them from making this connection in the past? What are they trying to avoid having happen ever again? What previous hurt is coming up? What do they fear will happen if they care about this person? And if these issues happened with the other love interest – so much the better!
HEATHER: Tension often comes from internal conflict, such as thinking one thing and saying or doing another thing. With a book, unlike other mediums, we can give readers a look into the minds and hearts of the characters, and it captures readers’ attention because they want to find out if the character will ever change. So when it comes to romantic tension, remember that people are often hesitant to admit their feelings to the other person or even themselves! We may be afraid to act or we even go out of our way to avoid. This internal and external dance between love interests, escalating over time, build delicious tension!
How do you show romance in scenes?
RONA: Romance is different for every person, so my recommendation is to know what your character considers romantic. One woman wants chocolate and gifts. Another person wants a partner who cooks. The more you know your character and what moves her (or him) the more you can create romance, which to me is another word for heartfelt connection that grows from knowing what matters to the other person.
HEATHER: A good story isn’t about what happens; it’s about how your main character makes meaning of what happens. The same is true for romance, because something you might find romantic may not have the same impact for someone else. So think about what’s meaningful for your characters. What gestures show them that their love interest cares? And why?
As a male author I’d like to write a romantic scene, but I worry about coming across as objectifying women. Any tips?
RONA: I’d recommend familiarizing yourself with romantic scenes written by women as a first step. Also, if you keep the focus of the scene on the emotions of the character rather than on what he or she is doing, I think you’ll be less likely to be guilty of “male gazing.” If you’re unsure after you’ve written the scene, share the scene with some women and listen to their responses.
HEATHER: First, make sure that you’re balancing the emotional aspects of the scene with the physical. The real romance lies in how the characters feel about each other–and why–not what they look like or what they’re doing. Of course, it’s still important to describe the action; make sure that both characters have agency in the scene, meaning they’re both active participants who have the ability to say yes and no (unless you’re writing a very particular type of romance). Also, try not to reduce the female character to just body parts – treat her like a whole person. Finally, a female sensitivity reader is always a great help!
